So, you noticed I haven't blogged in a while, huh? I've come to realize that I blog more when I'm in God's word and doing what I should rather than when I let satan take over, and that's just what happened in the month of November. I am apart of an iStudy with some of my sisters in Christ and we email/text/blog almost every day, but a few weeks ago I felt myself slipping away. It was definately a Slow Fade! I started not really reading what they were writing to almost avoiding these emails and blogs. (I am honestly ashamed to admit that. They deserve better.) But I didn't just stop reading their encouragement, I stopped spending time with and trusting God. Things were happening in my life that I couldn't believe were happening again. It felt like things were going back to the way they were before I'd moved away. It felt like I was being swallowed by emotions. Have you seen the commercials on TV for an antidepressant helper called Abilify? How the woman has a cloak (house coat) of depression around her? That's what it felt like I was wearing. Mine was big, black, had a hood on it, and covered my inside, not just my outward appearance.
I wish I could write on here that I'm cured and I'm happier now and my spiritual life is better, but that would be a lie. I talked with my best friend about a week or so ago and she reminded me that I am not alone. I may not be with my "friendily" but they are always there for me. I can't stress the importance of finding a church family. They are the most amazing pieces of my life. There is no excuse for not going when you are convicted that you should. When I moved away, I was determined to go to church every chance I got. I went 3 times a week and hardly missed it. Now I have to be just as determined.
Crawling Again,
Jessica
Our walk with God is not one spent sitting on the sidelines, it is one where we are constantly moving and changing.
My dear sweet sister, we all find ourselves in the valley at times, but you are completely correct when you say that you have to be determined. It is in these very moments that you have to cling to the thread of his cloak with all that you have in order to stand again. You are not alone! God is always there and we may be miles apart in the physical aspect but only a heart beat away in the spiritual. I will be praying for you sweet sister. Don't dwell on what is not, but rejoice and seek Him for what is to come. Trust Him! Miss and love you greatly!
ReplyDeleteP.S. - Don't be ignoring our emails. ha ha! :) Just kidding, but I hope you got a laugh out of it! Love you!
Hey girl,
ReplyDeleteGod has you in this place for a specific purpose...just like Tonya said, rejoice in it! Those hard times are the ones I most cherish...after the fact, of course! :-) That's how we know without a shadow of a doubt that He is growing us, and challenging us to USE WHAT WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT!! :-) It's a daily, hourly, and minute-by-minute decision to take that next step...pick up His word, ON purpose, read His word, WITH purpose, not just haphazardly. I have been there, I know and feel exactly what you are describing. Rejoice in this time, and go out and gather MORE family - find a local church and be just as faithful there as you were here! We (new Sisters in Christ) are EVERYWHERE! The great thing is, you still get to keep us (the old ones) too! :-) Love you and miss you greatly!